so tonight has been quite the adventure. i'm working at the front desk of my dorm, from 1 AM to 7 AM. it has already proven to be one hell of a night.

so i get to work and the girl that was leaving was talking about this guy who needs to go the hospital or jail, and so i asked what happened. apparently this guy came in the dorm and had vomit all over himself and was falling down like every two steps. he was also bleeding. he came to front desk and made some comments about the two girls working and tried to like come on to them, all the meanwhile blood dripping over the desk.

they called an RA and they escorted him to his room and we all thought that would be the end of it. oh boy were we wrong.

five girls come up to the desk and they are kind of laughing but also have that terrified look on their face. we ask them whats up and they tell us there is some guy outside naked, peeing, and banging on their windows. my coworker and i just look at each other and immediately knew it was this same guy.

we call the RA and like 10 minutes later the RA brings him to the front desk because he needed a key to his room (obviously, he was naked, although he did have his boxers).

all the meanwhile, its storming like a mother and there is a tornado watch and everything. it was kind of scary wondering if the figure of a naked man would just appear in the windows at any random strike of lightning. haha.

well, since the night has just begun, i may be updating this later with some more developments. haha.

so last night i had a little breakdown. oh it was grand. haha. i got my score back from my organic chemistry midterm that i took last thursday, and boy did i fail it. probably the worst score i've ever had on any midterm while in college.

at first, i was devastated. dreams of pharmacy school were falling out the window, and failure was finally setting in. i had no idea what i was going to do with my life. i thought for sure i was going to need to change my major. perhaps go into something easy for me and something that wouldn't challenge me at all.

however, encouraging advice from some friends has bounced me back. no one ever said this was going to be easy. i should not be giving up. it's all hard on purpose, because only those who have the will and determination to get to the end, will.

so i still have 30% of my grade undecided (and that is in the form of the final). i am going to kick so much ass on it. i will not be having much of a life these last two weeks here at OSU, but its time for business. i really am going to study more than i ever have before. i'm going all out. (this actually makes me kind of excited, even though it will surely suck ass).

also, to help lift my spirits, i decided to plan out my whole next year at UAkron. i planned which classes i'll be taking this summer, to ones that i will be taking spring semester next year. of course, it turns out that i don't have a whole lot of stuff left to do to meet pharmacy school prerequisites. i took the two schools i'm interested in (NEOUCOP and UCSF) and wrote down all the courses i need to take. of course, both schools require pretty much the exact same courses, however NEOUCOP wants a few more than UCSF, and UCSF has a class or two that NEOUCOP doesn't want. in the end, though, i can finish everything within this next year.

the best part, and the part that really helped calm me down, was knowing that should anything bad happen with organic chemistry this quarter, i can retake it this summer and be absolutely fine. it won't slow me down at all. actually the only summer class i will be taking is my other organic chemistry lab (because it filled up here at OSU before i scheduled so i got locked out of it). BUT, i can definitely afford to retake the lecture, and since i've messed up badly already, i'll probably end up retaking it anyway. either way, everything will still go as planned.

figuring this all out has really got me excited for the future, and i think thats why my mood changed from being really upset, to hopeful. i feel like i'm so on top of my game compared to everyone else. mostly because i figured everything out to where i could apply to pharmacy school a year early. the reason is simple. if i have all the prerequisites done a year early, i can apply and hope for the best. i won't be extremely competitive because i won't have a degree, i'll just have the course work done. however, if i do not get accepted, then i just take another year of school to finish my degree, and apply again, and there i am apply with everyone else i started to school with. so i'm not behind everyone. also, there are a lot of people that have no plan whatsoever. they aren't really looking down the road. they know they want to go to pharmacy school, but they haven't done their research on schools and stuff. this is what makes me the most happy. i know where i want to go and what i have to do to get there. everything is laid out in front of me. i know exactly what to do, and there are no surprises.

also, i thought i would be starting classes this summer in june, and then i wouldn't have a decent summer break, but i'm actually not starting summer classes until mid-july. so i will have a whole month off before i start. those classes are pretty much going to run until the start of fall semester, but since i'm only taking one or two classes for summer, it shouldn't be that bad at all. fall and spring semesters, i'll be having a pretty tough course load, at least i think. i'm not really familiar with semester credit hours and how many are too many, but i'm taking five classes each time, and something tells me that might be challenging. i plan on taking about 14 credit hours in fall, and 16 in spring.

classes next year will include: biochemistry, microbiology, human physiology, biology, statistics, psychology, public speaking, and english composition.

sounds fun, right? i'm actually really excited for it. as much as school is killing me now, i can't help but look forward to the next year. mostly because i will be done. and following acceptance into pharmacy school, i will have a great feeling of accomplishment, and i can't wait for that. it will feel so great. for everything to finally pay off. and then its four more years of hell, and i'm off to doing my dream job.

:)

oh life. to begin, i guess i'll start of with the school part. so far, so good. i just got done with my first midterms in my classes this past week, and they went fine, for the most part. the quarter is looking pretty decent for me actually, i think. it's either really going good, or i'm just convincing myself to stay positive so well that i actually think i'm doing good. i'm hoping its the first one.

recently, although i've tried getting into other bands and other types of music, somehow evanescence has made its way back to the top of my current list. ugh. what i would do right now to see them live again. it makes me sad, but at the same time it makes me get so excited for a new album. i can't wait. and even though they haven't officially announced their plans, i know that they will one day make something new. amy loves creating music too much to just stop now. she's said it herself.

in other news, saving money has proven to be a little easier than i thought. granted, i still have a credit card to pay for an my glasses to pay off, but i'm not spending all of my paychecks on other non-essential things anymore. however, on friday i did buy some more clothes and a dvd, for the first time in a month or so, but i didn't waste too much money. at least i don't think i did. hehe.

oh, and so the title for this post comes from the song "Forever in Our Hearts", which was a tribute song by a bunch of artists, made after that tsunami in 2004. its a great song. i love the message and everything. for some reason, whenever a bunch of artists get together and do something like that, i can't help but to fall in love with it. haha. i'm such a freak sometimes. but no, if you haven't heard it, go to youtube and check it out. it's pretty decent.

the main reason i got back into it, is because the ex-guitarist and co-founder of Evanescence played the guitars for the song. even though i hate the fact that he left the band the way he did (in the middle of a tour, without waiting for a replacement to be found), and think he's a douchebag, he's actually pretty darn talented as a songwriter and producer. he's made hits for Kelly Clarkson ("Because of You") and Avril ("Nobody's Home"), and is currently working with Celine Dion on her new album. and a little fact for you, he is actually the sole creator of the Evanescence song "My Immortal", not Amy Lee. Amy Lee actually is the one that created the more dramatic, epic, "gothic", darker songs. which this sort of has to do with why this guy left evanescence anyway. he always wanted to keep the band on more "popular" scale, writing and creating songs he knew would sell lots of records and appeal to a mass amount of people. he has a very good sense of what works in the industry and what doesn't. but amy wanted to be more creative and do her own stuff regardless of whether they sold any records or not. she wanted to be an artist. therefore, after all their struggles on the direction of the band, and a few other not so pleasant things, he left. and i think the band is SO much better. but even though i do think he's a douche, he is a great songwriter and producer, he just wasn't right for evanescence.

and i am so sorry to have bored you with that information. but whatever. i'm bored, and perhaps you were bored and thats why you started reading in the first place. it gave us both something to do. fun.

well, that's pretty much it. i'm just taking everything day by day. and counting down the weeks and days until summer. i'm pretty jealous of all these schools that get out next week and stuff. i still have five or six more weeks until i can finally be home. uh. but this quarter is flying by like 10 times faster than any other and i love that. so before i know it, summer will be here. and ive got so much planned with my friends, i can't wait.

just a quick update on my progress in saving money. it is full force, now. on friday, i got paid and also got money for reimbursement on my student fees. apparently, i must have gotten some last minute financial aid, or maybe they calculated how much i owed wrong when i paid, but i now have $200 on top of my paycheck, just sitting in the bank. and that is where it shall remain.

there are way to many things i have on my list that i need to be saving for. well, i guess technically, not too many. but more than i want i guess, because who doesn't want to spend their money. i just had a realization lately that i have so much i need to pay for in the future, that i should be starting to save like mad now.

i need money for a car, and i definitely want to get an apartment someday in the future (which i even found the perfect place to live, ahhh its killing me that i can't live there for awhile), and then once i move out i'll need my own insurance to pay for, and then not to mention all the school loans i'll need to repay. and then applying for pharmacy schools is going to be one of the most expensive things i've ever done. most schools have application fee's that are around $120, which kind of puts a damper on the amount of school i want to apply to. also, this summer i am looking into getting Invisalign braces, and those are not cheap. they actually are around the same price as traditional braces, but its still somewhere between $3,500 - $5,000. gasp! that's a big chunk of change. but yeah, it will definitely be a good investment.

but alas, with all that stuff i want to do and need to save for, i am preparing for it NOW. and i will continue to spend as little as possible of my paychecks from now on. of course, i will definitely treat myself to some new things once in a while, because i deserve something nice for the all the hard work, but i will be saving mostly all of my money.

so that's the plan, and i'm sticking to it.

so, i have a new interest. i want to buy a turntable this summer, so bad! and i found a really cool one at Target. oh my gosh, love. basically, i've been watching movies out the ass lately, and a couple of my new purchases take place in the 70's and show all these bad ass records. and i've always had a fascination with a records and record players, but recently i've realized that vinyl records are making a comeback, and i want in on that action! haha.

here is the turntable i've had my eye on. it's a traveling one, so it operates on batteries, as well as AC power.



yeah. cool, eh? so along with this turntable, i'm going to need to some records, so i've done some mad searching through Amazon's collections and eBay. i've come across a lot of good ones that i do want to own one day, but i will wait to purchase until the summer because i want hit up some record stores first to see if i can get anything cheaper. so already, this summer is going to be pretty bad ass, just based on the fact that i will own a turntable. haha.

in other news, i'm still buying DVDs like its no one's business. i can't stop myself. something about $10 DVDs just makes me hit that "add to cart" button. lately, i'm trying to save some money so i've narrowed down my monthly purchases. i want to save a lot of my money, but still be able to buy clothes and DVDs and stuff, so i'm setting aside money for all the things i want. hopefully i can keep this up because there is a lot i want to do this summer as well, that i need to be saving for. we shall see.

also, i am back at school for spring quarter at The Ohio State University. my classes are going great so far. i'm only taking one "challenging" class, which is the last course in my organic chemistry sequence. so far, i'm actually liking it a lot better than the previous two. i'm not sure how long that's going to last though. haha. other than that, im taking this really cool pharmacy class about addicting drugs. it's so awesome. i have new love for the brain and how it works and shit, i may be thinking of going into neurology or something. i can just tell that this class is going to be my favorite, since i've been here at OSU.

anyway, that's about all. just working and going to class. fun shit. only about eight more weeks until its officially summer. sounds so long, but the first three weeks back have already flown by. and with the weather getting warmer every day, it will just make it go by even faster. oh, how i love spring.

spring break is just about over (as i leave for columbus early tomorrow morning and classes will begin on monday). it's been really nice. i spent the bulk of my time just sitting on my ass and being lazy. haha. it was the best thing i could ask for after all the stress i underwent during winter quarter classes.

i read "Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk over break and it was an amazing book. it reassured my love for Chuck and his sarcasm and humor he puts in all his books. this book is definitely in to the top of my favorites from him. the whole thing was so incredibly creative, i can't even imagine all the work he had to of put into it to write it. after reading it, i got so excited of how good it was, i went to the bookstore and bought two more of his books that i haven't read yet, Rant and Survivor. i started Rant the other day but only read a chapter or two but plan on actually reading it on my down time during this quarter.

after de-stressing this week and watching "The Secret" i've become very positive. granted i just watched the video last night, haha, i've spent the whole day with just positive thoughts. it's been great, and i actually feel really good about myself and what i want to accomplish. i really think that if i just keep this up, the things i want in life will start to show themselves. if you haven't seen this movie or read the book, i recommend it. its pretty amazing.

and so to keep up with the positive thoughts, i'll let you know that i am very excited for classes to begin on monday and i am so ready for nice, spring weather. spring weather definitely makes me happy and i am ready to take on these classes and do well. sooner or later, i'll be writing a post about how this quarter has went by so fast and i've been doing so well and summer will just bring even bigger and better things for me. i am so excited to get this all done and finally be back home for good and get to see all my friends more often than i do now. not to mention, i'm getting excited to get a job this summer and have a steady job and make good money. i'm ready to move from a part-time job to more of a full-time job but still have time to go to school and finish up everything i need to in order to get into NEOUCOM Pharmacy school.

life is good, and it will remain this way.

oh my gosh. its almost here, finally! and of course, the tease that is Ohio weather gave me a few 60 degree days, with a nice breeze and i was loving every single minute of it. but now, we're back to the cold, and here were supposed to get up to 8 inches of snow between friday and saturday night. what the fuck. seriously, Ohio, you are officially the biggest tease. ugh.

i've also recently decided to try and stop bitching/complaining about my sad life and how i'm not getting in pharmacy school. shocker, i know, and i'm sure five weeks from now i'll find myself back in the same position i was and i'll be bitching. but if i start, just tell me to shut the fuck up and move on. seriously, i won't be mad. i'll actually be extremely grateful, because honestly, i just need to think positive (although realistic) and relax a little bit.

on to more exciting things, i've been really looking forward to summer. i can't wait. just the thought of nice warm days and relaxation (although i'm sure i'll be working my ass off) brighten my day. plus, at the end of summer i will be fucking 21 years old, and i can't wait. who wants to go to Vegas next winter, with me? haha. wouldn't that be bad ass? i'm actually hoping my friends and i can take a nice trip this summer and just get away for a week or something. i hope it all works out.

so, thats pretty much all i have doing. just the usual. class (if i don't skip to take a nap, haha) and work. and now that classes are OVER for this quarter, i just have four finals to take next week and i am out of this place for about nine days, and it will be glorious.

lots of movie watching to be done with my pal, toni, and probably some shopping because i'll be getting paid next week and every time i get money, i can't help myself. haha.

oh, and some movies i've watched recently that are absolutely amazing are: Hard Candy and Memento. check those bitches out.

oh boy. this week has been a crazy one. it feels like everything has just been going so fast and before i know it, i'm like way behind in all my classes and struggling to get good grades. ugh. for example, the last month or so i have been living on naps monday-friday and crashing on weekends. this week was the the worst so far, i think.

tuesday, i woke up at 7:30 AM to get ready for my history lecture that starts at 8:00 AM and i was in class all day until about 9:00 PM. i came back to the dorm from class, and watched some TV and ate some dinner and then decided at 12:30 AM that i needed to nap a little bit before work at 4 AM. so that was three hours of sleep. then i worked early wednesday morning from 4-7am, came back to the room and napped for an hour, went to class for the whole day, then came back and napped from 3:00pm-6:00pm. then i was up all night until 6:30 AM Thursday studying for my ochem midterm that was due today, and i napped again for a few hours before having to go to classes, take my midterm from 3:30pm-5:30pm and then had lab from 5:30-7:30. i got back, had dinner, and now im working from 11pm-1am.

so its been crazy the past few days. usually i have one class on friday, and its at 9:30 AM, but since that is the class that i just took an midterm for today, i am SKIPPING. plus its like snowing like crazy outside and its just going to be miserable weather tomorrow.

wow, i love how all i do on this is rant about my life. but whatever. i guess its just that school takes so much of my time and stuff that i barely have time for anything else and then it puts me in a bad mood so i'm always like going crazy over it.

this is yet another reason why i am looking forward to summer so much. i get to be with my family, see my friends like all the time and just CHILL THE FUCK OUT and relax. and then i'll have good, positive posts about stuff that i was able to actually do during my free time instead of studying and worrying about school and shit.

ugh.

[on a positive cool note, i do have some cool stuff coming up. tomorrow night i'm going to a lecture type thing by the guy that does PostSecret. i can't wait. it should be really interesting. then March 5th, i'll hopefully be going to see Secondhand Serenade in concert. although i'm not like a HUGE fan, i do like some of his songs, but i love concerts, so i'm sure i will have fun.]

so i am so incredibly bored at work right now. of course, i'm working the 1am-7am shift, because sometimes it can be interesting. but just as i expected, tonight has been a drag. except for the fact that some kid that lives on the first floor got caught for underage drinking for his second time this year, by the cops. i guess he was just like stumbling around outside around the dorm so they confronted him, and then figured out he was trashed. haha. the cop was dick when he came to the front desk though. we had to call the RA on call to come assess the situation or whatever, and mind you its 3:30 in the fucking morning, so yes they are on call, but they do get to sleep. so we had to call them a few times until they woke up before they came down and the cop was just an impatient bastard.

other than that, nothing has happened. thus, this random post. but i thought i would share that i did talk to my advisor today about transferring and everything, and it pretty much just confirmed that i don't have to feel like shit for wanting to transfer and that this might be the best plan anyway. she gave me this other lady's email address though, and suggests i meet with her before i officially apply to Akron because this woman used to work for the admissions office at NEOUCOM so she can give me more insight on what they look for in candidates and stuff.

so you should all be pretty pumped that i'll be coming home for summer AND staying home for school. no more sad little goodbyes. and we'll totally get to hang out more (aside from all of us being in school), but yeah. it will be fan-fucking-tastic. i'm excited. i just want to come home now.

ok, this ends the random post. it was a quick 6 minute fix of boredom.

so life has been pretty crazy and busy this past week. which is the reason i have failed to post since last thursday. i apologize. a lot of good and bad things occurred since the last post, so i guess i kind of have a lot to tell you about.

last friday, Toni and Leah came down to C-bus so we could all three go see the lovely Kathleen Madigan. she was absolutely hilarious. she said at the end of the show that she would be coming out to sign stuff and take pictures and whatever. so we waited for her and there weren't too many others waiting and it was really informal and nice. you could have like stood there and talked to her all night if you wanted to. haha. when we went up to meet her, i asked her how she was and stuff, and then asked if she had plans for a new CD and surprisingly she said that she has a new one coming out this year. so i can't freaking wait for that. i then asked her if she would take an O-H-I-O picture, to which she replied "i don't know what that is, but i'll do whatever you want". so we did it, and it turned out awesome. we were all cracking up when it was taken. good stuff.

after that i pretty much finished the weekend off by working saturday night/sunday morning from 1am-7am. i worked with angelica and it was really fun. the time went by pretty fast, but i still managed to collapse when i got up to my room. i ended up sleeping in until 5:15pm the next day. crazy right? i think thats the latest i've ever slept in. after working on quite a bit of homework and stuff, i managed to still go to bed at like 1:00am for class Monday morning. so i was awake for a total of 8 hours on sunday. haha. how strange.

starting with Monday, hell week began. i just felt so over-fucking-whelmed this week. it was horrible. it's not helping that i'm pretty set on transferring for fall next year, and i really miss home and all my friends back home and stuff. and i just have to much work to do here first and its like an ass load too. i got a point on wednesday where i was just like 'fuck it. i need to just drop out this is crazy'. yeah, it got that bad. haha. with some good advice from Toni and some photoshoppin', i managed to snap out of my funk and just realize that i need to get my ass in gear and finish off this quarter. hopefully this new mindset will last throughout out the quarter. although, i just have this feeling that come spring break, i'll be home and it will just make me want to be done with school even more. so i'm thinking spring quarter is going to be like one huge depression fest. i'll want to be home so bad, and it will be my last quarter with all the friends i've made here. its pretty depressing to even think about.

oh well. i'll cross that road when i get there, i guess.

that's pretty much my life story this past week. just a lot of fucking homework. which surprisingly, i haven't even done nearly as much as i need to. but i work a lot this weekend and i'm planning on just doing as much as i possibly can to catch up. its crazy how its only the end of week three, and i feel so freaking behind already. but i guess with quarters, everything does go so fast because we try to cram classes into 9 or 10 weeks. insane! but, i'm getting through it, i guess.

i'll update in a few days to let you know if i really did manage to get quite a bit done or not. pray for me. i really need to get back in the swing of things.

so, in case you haven't heard the news, lately i have been thinking about transferring to The University of Akron, in hopes to be accepted in the NEOUCOP pharmacy program. I've been weighing it a lot in mind this last week and i still haven't quite decided what i'm going to do. as of right now, its looking like i'm about 60% sure that i will transfer, because i do believe that it will be advantageous to get accepted into a pharmacy school.

there is just too much going into this decision. its like way above my head. and i just can't be freaking out about this while i'm going through ochem and all my classes. its driving me slightly crazy. but i've decided to write this post to list the pro's and cons and see if that brings any conclusions.

Reasons Why I Should Transfer:
-closer to home for family and friends that i miss terribly.
-UA has 15 guaranteed spots at NEOUCOP every year.
-there are only 15 spots for people who do not attend UA, KSU, YSU, or CSU. (aka me).
-it would be cheaper because i could commute to school and live at home.


Reason Why I Should Stay:
-its a bigger city than mogadore, haha.
-OSU Football games = life.
-i love it here.
-OSU has a good Pharm School.

ok so those are the most obvious points. but, i must add that even though i wrote 'OSU has a good pharm school' as a reason i should stay, it doesn't mean that i can't apply to the pharm school if i transfer to Akron. actually, OSU Pharm School does not give any preference to people who got their degree from OSU. which is another reason why it would be advantageous to transfer; UA has 15 automatic spots, and considering this program is fairly new and not many people to go UA for this reason, i have a great shot at being accepted. if i do transfer, and i don't get accepting at NEOUCOP, there is no reason to fret. i can finish getting my BA degree at UA and then apply to other pharmacy school's in the country, and hopefully get accepted SOMEWHERE.

but realistically, NEOUCOP is a great opportunity, and i just feel like i should take part in that. but at the same time, my heart is truly here at OSU. i love it here. it's an amazing university. i would truly miss everything it has to offer.

it all comes down to this: i can stay at OSU and love life (minus being far away from my friends and family), or i can transfer and possibly increase my chances of going further in my career and be closer to home, but at the same time, i'd miss OSU.

and at this point family > OSU, and i'd really love to be closer to home. i can still be a huge Buckeye fan no matter where I go or what i do.

so basically, i'm going to be setting up an appointment with my advisor as soon as i can and figure this all out. hopefully she will encourage me to make the better decision and perhaps give me any insight that maybe i didn't think about before. once i meet with her, i will officially make a decision on what to do. so look out for that.

[side note: the subject title comes from an awesome song called 'Sara' by this pretty cool band i found called Love Arcade. randomly found them, and heard that song and its almost fate. haha, for all you fate believers out there].

that's all for now. feel free to add your thoughts.

so, classes have officially started. blah. this quarter is going to be pretty tough. i am taking 18 credit hours, which is kind of a lot when your taking organic chemistry, organic chemistry lab, physics, history, and intro to pharmacy all at the same time. its going to be a lot of work, but as of now i am kind of willing to put in the effort. i really need to do well this quarter. like, majorly.

anyway, during the times that i've worked and during my free time, i have of course made some new icons. i've made 24 more new ones. they are of two of my favorite movies. so enjoy, and let me know what you think.

[12] Just Friends
[12] Waiting...

( check them out here )

in other news, and this is rather big news, i am possibly going to be able to see my favorite comedian of all time on Friday night. Kathleen Madigan is doing a show in Columbus, and I could not be any happier. I have been a pretty big fan for almost six years now, which is pretty crazy to think about. Of course when it all started, I just happened to catch one of her comedy specials on HBO and I fell in love, and then didn't hear much about her until she was on Last Comic Standing in the early couple seasons (which I watched only because of her), and then a year or so ago I finally got her new CD and it was amazing. So now, hopefully I will be able to see her LIVE this Friday.

also, tomorrow is a BIG day. Ohio State is playing Louisiana State in the NCAA 2007 BCS National Championship in football. Ohio State (although currently ranked #1) is a huge underdog and everyone thinks we are going to get the shit beat out of us. But, I'm hoping we will end up with a win and prove everyone wrong, and show that we do deserve to be where we are. Although, as many buckeye fans are doing, I won't be getting my hopes up. If we lose, cool, I don't have a problem with that. But it will be GLORIOUS if we pull out a win as the underdog.

Ok, I better go get some sleep because I have class tomorrow. :(

so, the last couple days i've done nothing but work every night from 7pm-1am. and, being that most people are not back from winter break yet, its been extremely silent in the dorm and i've had nothing to do during work. basically, i've been getting paid $6.85 an hour to make icons. haha. it's been nice.

so, last night i made 10 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind icons, and today i made 10 Superbad icons. how awesome, right? well, i guess you actually might want to see them first, and then decide.

here is a little preview...



haha, follow the cut to see them all.

( boop, boop, boop. )

Happy New Year everybody. I hope you all have a good night. I'm stuck at work until 1:00am, so that's sucky for me, but I hope you all have fun!

Here's to 2008 being ten million times better than 2007!

alas, i am back at The Ohio State University. classes don't begin until January 3rd, but I'm here early because I have to work. yup. i'm working the front desk of my dorm tonight (right now, actually), tomorrow night, and unfortunately New Year's Eve night all from 7:00pm - 1:00am. talk about fun.

< sob story >

i'm trying to get rid of my New Year's Eve shift, but i think its almost a guarantee that no one is going to want to take it because it happens to be during the whole 12:00 ball dropping thing. haha.

i'm an idiot and decided to work during it, so if no one decides to take it for me, than i will be sitting at this very desk that i am at now when the new year officially begins.

< /sob story >

on a brighter note, i made a total of three icons tonight. i might make more as i will surely be bored until my work shift ends at 1am. they are all evanescence icons (of course), but i really love how they turned out. one of them is course the one i used for this post, and you can catch my other two under my userpics.

i'm enjoying them for now, and i think for the short time that i worked on all of them, they actually turned out pretty decent. not bad, not bad at all.

ok, i think thats all for now. i hope all you enjoy your weekends and i'll probably be ranting in a few days about how dumb i was to take that stupid New Years Eve shift. be on the look out. haha.

so, friday night i had a little party. it was sooooooo fun and surprisingly almost everyone i invited came over. let's just say, i got really drunk. for the first time ever, i actually got drunk.

i'm not really a lightweight, so every time i've drank it usually takes too long and i end up just getting a slight buzz and laugh at everything. but this time, since the party was at my house and i didn't have to go anywhere or worry about anything, i just kept drinking and drinking.

i think what really did me in, was that i did shots of vodka before anyone else even started drinking. hahaha.

we played many rounds of peer bong, and i think i lost a total of 6 games and then finally won the last game (which i have no idea how me and amanda pulled that off because we were both really drunk and we had lost every game before that, so that was weird).

in total, i think i probably drank about 8 or 9 cans of beer, 2 mike's hard lemonade, a few shots of vodka, and then i know clayton poured some amount of vodka into my beer, and then towards the end of the party i looked at the vodka bottle (while i was really drunk) and said "what? no one has been drinking the vodka!!" and the proceeded to pour some of that in my cup of beer.

and to my surprise, although i was pretty drunk, i honestly don't think that i was like TRASHED. i don't know though. i don't think you can do the soulja boy dance five times and not be trashed. hahaha. i know everyone took some good videos of that shit, that i really can't wait to see.

the reason i think i wasn't too bad was just because i do remember most of the night. i really do. its just certain small details that i really don't remember.

all in all, i think i am a fun drunk. i think it makes me extremely outgoing and i automatically LOVE everyone and hug everyone like four thousand times. i loved that. i know Amy was running away from me every time i went towards her. hahaha. that was good times.

anyway, after everyone left, my brother and his fiance had me drink some water, take 2 advil, eat a piece of bread and try to go to bed. i remember wanting to drink more water (i had already drank 4 glasses) because i thought i would die in my sleep from choking on my vomit, but they wouldn't let me drink anymore. but when they took me to my room they set another glass of water next to my bed and then brought out a little trash can for me to puke in eventually.

i ended up sitting up on my bed with my sister, getting ready to fall asleep, and i decided to just make myself puke because i knew i had to soon and i didn't want to die or anything, and it was a good puke. it was projectile and everything. after i puked, i know my sister walked out of the room and came back with a new bag in the trash can, and then i think i just passed out. i don't remember anything else.

thanks to all the water, the advil, the bread, and throwing up, i was able to wake up without a bad hangover. i did feel kind of sick all day though. my stomach just didn't feel great and i couldn't eat much. it sucked! but i'm all better now.

and now that it's been a couple days, i've heard some pretty good stories of stuff i either said or did that i don't even remember doing. hahaha. i was GONE. lol.

i've also crushed my mothers, grandmas, and great aunts image of me. apparently, my mom kind of thought i was joking about the whole party thing until about the day or two before (i'm assuming thats when i mentioned the beer pong thing), and then in the morning after, i let her know how drunk i was and everything and that just crushed her little world. haha. she's not really mad at me or anything but she just didn't want to picture her little baby getting plastered. haha. so last night she told my grandma and my great aunt everything and even they were kind of shocked.

but listen people, at least i waited until i was 20 years old to have a party and get really drunk. so it's not that bad. plus, i'm in college and go to Ohio State, of course i drink.

so, i am currently loving winter break.
i haven't done shit, really.
besides chill with some homies.
its been good times.

i still can't rid of what i now know is called PCDS (post-concert depression syndrome).
i am so fucking obsessed.

this is the current stage:
i can only listen to my live CD's.
the original albums just don't do it for me anymore.
the songs are great, sure, but the songs live are SO much better.
and i've come to realize that that is yet another reason why i love Evanescence.
the songs are just a tad different live, but in a much, much better way.
just listening to the album you can't really appreciate the music.
and i love the fact that Evanescence purposely doesn't mimic the albums live.

i've just gained so much respect for the band after seeing them live
not that i didn't respect them before, but they put on a really good show.
it was so perfect for waiting for five years to finally get to see them live.
granted, the band has changed ALOT in those five years,
with the only remaining member in the band i originally loved being Amy Lee,
although, Terry (the lead guitarist currently, has been with Amy for a long time,
seeing as the original guitarist quit shortly after the bad begun touring) I've known
to always kick so much ass and be amazing from watching the Live DVD and stuff.
but the other guys i didn't really know and they ROCKED.

ah, just reminiscing the concert makes me feel so good.
haha, i am pathetic. oh well.

anyway, i've been a photoshop whore recently.
new icons and stuff on the way.
i made the one for this post and thought i'd put it up now, instead of waiting,
so there you go, merry fucking christmas.
haha.

and that's pretty much my life story for the past few days.
i've just been sitting home enjoying the break from school.
so, i think i'll go back to listening to Ev rock out while i photoshop.

finally, this quarter is over.
i was getting so tired of school.

i had my finals all on wednesday, so i was DONE at 1:30 PM.
it was glorious.
except for the fact that i'm sure i completely failed my ochem exam.

tomorrow i finally get out of here to come back home for about a month.
i am sooo excited. to not think of classes for a month is truly amazing.
the only thing i'll end up hating is working at Deal's if they end up having me work.
as much as i need the money, i just really don't want to deal with the shit anymore.
mostly because i absolutely hate the fucking 5 AM shifts.
i used to be able to tolerate them, but not anymore. i tired of it.
and i know they will make me do it and they are always Saturday's and Sundays,
and then i can't fucking enjoy the weekend because I have work early in the morning,
so i have to go to bed at like 9 or 10 just to get a decent amount of sleep.
its just too much for me.
whatever.

in other less exciting news, i'm still suffering from PCD.
[post concert depression].
haha.

as much as i thought that meeting the band and seeing them live would finally put the obsession to rest, it seems as though it has only fueled the fire. i just can't help but constantly think about it all. but you know, this weekend raps up their tour officially, and once it's all over, and things start to die down, especially on the forums, i think the obsession will slowly start to crumble. at least im hoping. sure, for the next few months i'm still going to obsess like normal, but once i realize that there really isn't anything thats going to happen for the next year or two, it should start to settle down. at least i hope.

also, more and more each day, i'm becoming aware that i most likely, and no joke, probably have obsessive compulsive disorder. i know my friends used to make fun of me because there are many things in which i appear to be a perfectionist about and stuff, but lately people have been pointing out things to me that i do, and i never even realized why i do it. and it's not even about perfectionism anymore. and its just kind of crazy to think that i'm doing all these "rituals" because of this thought that something will either happen to me if i don't do it, or something will happen to someone else. before i just thought that i had certain patterns i liked to follow when doing things and it was nothing more than that, but then i realized that i've come dependent on these patterns, and i do get kind of uncomfortable if i do something out of pattern. and it's hard to say whether or not i really have it because i think when most people think about, they think about the absolute extreme people who have that. people who you can tell automatically after watching them for 3 seconds that they have it, and that's not the case with me. a lot of things i do can go unnoticed by other people.

ok, i'll do this. i'll make a list right now of some things that i do, and you can share with me your thoughts if i'm just an idiot or if you concur that i could possibly have OCD. here we go...

even numbers. everything has to be even, i hate odd things.
i try my hardest to take an even number of steps when i walk.
its really subtle because i actually don't count my steps, so you may not notice,
but i pay attention to which foot i step off on, and i make sure i end on the other.

when i wash my hands, i dispense soap onto my hands either 4 or 6 times.
most often i do it 6 times for regular soap, and 4 times if its foam soap.
i then rinse my hands, going over each hand the same number of times back and forth.
i almost have to dry my hands off with paper towels, in which i count off an even number of sheets for. using an actual towel grosses me out but thats more of me being a germ freak then having OCD, in my opinion.

i follow a pattern when it comes to brushing my teeth, which in the end results in counting to an even number, most often 20 (but in sets of 10), on each side of my teeth, front/back, top/bottom. then i brush my tongue the same about of times.

when taking a shower, i have a complete pattern that i follow every day, without fail. if i mess it up, i start all over. i start washing with my left arm, right arm, chest/stomach, back, left leg, right leg, left foot, right foot. then rinse and proceed to wash my hair, twice, in which i do have a certain pattern that i follow but is a tad complicated to write out or describe.

when putting on deodorant, i count how many times i move up and down one armpit and i do the exact same on the other. usually i count to four, doing from top to bottom, then four going bottom to top. sometimes, though, it doesn't feel right just doing four, so i will count to six. this one is different in the since that the number can be anything, as long as its even, and i do it until it feels right to me. unfortunately i go through deodorant like there is no tomorrow because of this.

watching tv is one of my most annoying ritual things. no matter what i have to do, the numbers that show up on the tv have to equal an even number. if i'm watching a show on an even number channel, the volume must also be an even number in order for the two to be added to equal an even number. if i am watching a show on an odd number channel, the volume must also be an odd number so that the two added together will equal an even number. this is the most frustrating because when it comes to channels that are often quieter than others, i do a lot of volume changing. most of the time i'm on an even channel, and the perfect volume is on an odd number. adding one number, to make it even, makes the tv too loud, so i often settle for the even number that comes before the odd number, which is often too quiet, but i'll struggle to hear my show just so that its not too loud, and its not an odd number.

i think i'll stop there, because this post is getting extremely long, but you kind of get the idea. perhaps i'll do a "OCD: Part Two" or something. haha. let me know what you think.

so last night was the Evanescence concert.
i had SO much fun. it was an amazing experience.

when we first got there, toni and i just sat at the Will Call,
because that's where i was supposed to be for the meet and greet.
when it came that time i got pretty nervous, but i wasn't too much of a mess.
Richie, the Evanescence security guard, was SO funny.
first he comes out and explains what is all going to down,
saying that we'll line up, the band will come out and sign everything.

then he goes "you all have something to get signed? if not i've got these things for you. well...actually i'll just give them to you all anyway. they're cooler".

then he said that after everyone gets their stuff signed,
then we'll go down the line again and everyone will get a picture with the band.

then he goes "just give me your camera and i'll take the picture. i don't need instructions on how to take the picture...i've been doing this a long time. so just give me the camera"

then he went and got the band and everyone was like shaking a little,
and as soon as they stepped out, everyone was so tense and it was quiet for a minute.
then they started going down the line and signing stuff.
amy got to me and she smiled and was like "HEY!" and i said "hi" and handed her my album,
and the poster thing we got from Richie to get signed.
as she was signing I said "thank you SO much!" and she said "you're welcome!".
because i was at the end of the line when they were signing,
we started at my end for pictures so i got my picture pretty quickly.
(and of course that is the picture that is now my header, haha).

after that they had us go back upstairs and get in line for the GA floor,
and thats where i met back up with toni and we had to wait for like 10 minutes,
and then we were finally able to get down to the floor.
we got front row, against the gate, on the right had side.
it was SO sweet. i loved it.

the concert was of course amazing.
and not that i thought evanescence would suck live or anything,
but they were definitely ALOT better than i expected. i was impressed.
this one girl on the forum, who had seen Ev 6 times prior to this,
even said that she was actually impressed by the performance as well.

well after the concert, toni and i stopped my McDonalds for some much needed food.
then we started to head back home.
unfortunately, the road we need to get on was CLOSED because of the weather.
big ass snow storm hit PA a little before the concert ended. :(
so we were forced to turn around right then and there, and get a hotel.

we woke up at 9 AM this morning, and got breakfast at the hotel,
and then decided to head out for home (for real this time).
haha. even though there was some funkiness with the window wipers,
we made it home safe and sound without much of a problem.

once i got home i had time to get a shower and pack up my stuff,
and my parents were ready to take me back to Columbus.

its finals week this week.
my only two finals are Wednesday, and then I am done,
however i have to work on friday night so i'm coming home saturday morning.
but then i'll be home for just about a month for WINTER BREAK.
i can't wait.

ahhhhh!
tomorrow is THE concert.
i can't wait.
i'm slowing losing my mind.

ever since monday, when i got the email for my meet and greet win,
i have literally, no joke, been reading the first line of it over and over.

"Congratulations!

You have been selected to participate in an Evanescence meet & greet on 12/01/07 in University Park, PA at the Bryce Jordan Center."

oh my.
i love it.

the title of this post is from my mother.
i love her to death, but she's not getting the importance of this concert.
she has no idea. haha.
when describing the importance of this to me, she says that,
and im just like "yeah mom, the GOTH girl." all sarcastically.
it was perhaps one of funniest encounters i've had with my mom.
and although its quite amusing, at the same time its drivin' me nuts.
only because she's making me feel quilty.
just for my dad coming to pick me up at school today.
oh well.

anyway, i'll definitely be writing on Sunday to document the whole experience.
yay.

so, big news.
awesome news.

i just got an email that i won a meet and greet for the Ev concert.
holy fucking shit.

i've waited 3-4 years to see them in concert,
and now that i finally get my chance,
i get to fucking meet them as well?!?
way too awesome.

also it was released who the other opening band would be.
its the band Shiny Toy Guns.
they sing that one song on that one Motorola Razr cell phone commercial.
it goes "hello little boys, little toys, we're the dreams you're believing".
and its electronic/techno-ish.

anyway, i looked them up on myspace,
to listen to some of their other songs and stuff,
and i actually like their music and want to see them live.
hopefully they will be good, otherwise i'll be upset.

the other band opening is Julien-K,
and they are electronic/rock/alternative,
they are OK, but I guess not too many people that have been to the shows like them.

the usual band that opens (which Shiny Toy Guns is replacing for my show),
is Sick Puppies and they are apparently amazing.
but they are more screaming and hard rock I believe,
so i think I'll end up being glad Shiny Toy Guns was there instead.

anyway, yeah.
that about sums everything up.
i'm just going kind of crazy with this whole meet and greet thing.
i can't freaking wait!